Nov 10, 2010 | Women Who Rock
I watched BET’s Black Girls Rock! Sunday and was struck by the diversity of women celebrated. Empowering comments made by actresses and role models Ruby Dee and KeKe Palmer, among others, inspired me.
I enjoyed learning about fierce women such as Teresa Clarke, Chairman and CEO of Africa.com, an online portal connecting all 53 countries on the African continent. Clarke was also honored for her work on Wall Street as a managing director at Goldman Sachs, and for co-founding the Student Sponsorship Programme in South Africa (http://www.ssp.org.za).
As a young girl I rocked because the women in my life told me I was special and treated me like a gift to the world. I voiced my dreams with conviction and fought for my dignity because my mother, grandmothers and aunts showed me how. I knew black women rocked in unexpected ways since Shirley Chisholm ran for president long before I could vote and Diahann Carroll had her own groundbreaking TV show, Julia, where she rocked a nurse’s uniform instead of a maid’s.
So do girls growing up with Michelle Obama in the White House and Oprah running her own network need to be told they can rock? Absolutely. Too many mixed messages shape the minds of females today.
I support whatever helps females of color at any age create a vision for their lives and claim their power. I knew Black Girls Rock! would inspire. What was unexpected was finding inspiration on another show, one I saw for the first time during a weekend marathon. Tiny & Toya surprised me with episodes shaped by uplifting themes.
Starring Xscape singer-songwriter and the wife of rapper T.I., Tameka “Tiny” Cottle and rapper Lil Wayne‘s ex-wife Antonia “Toya” Carter, the show defied my prejudged notions. I expected a clone of the Real Housewives of Atlanta where women preen, posture and pretty much act the fool for fleeting fame and fake fortune. I realize such “reality” shows entertain, but Tiny’s reflections about her father’s Alzheimer Disease and Toya’s admiration of the long and loving marriage of Tiny’s parents felt real.
The show has it flaws. I spotted Phaedra, a lawyer who labels herself high-profile but craves low-brow reality stardom as she is also on RHOA, where pregnant, she preens and poses [once with a pickle!] while spouting put-downs. Yes, I watch RHOA and sometimes I’m troubled that I do. Seeing it immediately after the fabulous Black Girls Rock! really made me think about the power of the diverse images we project.
As a girl I raced to the TV to watch Julia. As a woman I watched three very different shows on the same day that feature, to varying degrees, black women of accomplishment. The completely inspirational Black Girls Rock! was broadcast around the world! How far we’ve come. How I wish I could see the uplifting shows black girls and women will watch 50 years from now.
Oct 31, 2010 | Women Who Rock
Lately I’ve been MIA on facebook. Sure, I may do a drive-by a few times a week. But I limit my lingering since facebook can suck all the oxygen out of the room. It’s a time thief. Yet, every now and then it’s a treasure trove, too.
While visiting the page of a friend I actually know, I noticed a video he posted with this provocative title: Dancing Under The Gallows. I watched it and learned the bone-chilling and inspirational story of Alice Herz-Sommer, who, God willing, will turn 107-years-old November 26.
Still playing the piano daily, she is the oldest Holocaust survivor in the world. It was her musical ability as a concert pianist that spared her life at a Nazi concentration camp. Sommer has always known music produces hope.
“Music is God. You feel it especially when you are suffering,” she said.
Music, augmented by her optimistic outlook, has fueled her long life and made each day a precious gift.
“I am looking for the nice things in life,” she said, during an interview when she was 103. “I know about the bad things, but I look only for the good things.”
Her story reminded me of a quote I recently posted on facebook: You are the music while the music lasts. When I first read it I thought about it for days. What kind of music am I? A shrill melody or soothing sonnet? Is my tempo welcoming or are my chords discordant? Honestly, it depends on the day, but overall I like to think my beats are universal with a distinctive harmonious groove.
Sommer wasn’t the originator of that quote, it belongs to T.S. Eliot. But Sommer lives those words daily. This centenarian said she never hated anyone for anything because doing so would defile her. Individuals like her leave me awestruck and then ashamed at my own shortcomings. Haven’t we all held grudges for years over pettiness, severing meaningful relationships in flashes of anger or disappointment?
Sommer said only when we are old do we understand the beauty of life. She has more than a half-century head start on me for appreciating life so I take her at her word. Still, I strive to find joy daily knowing any day above ground is a fabulous one.
Sommer’s story will boost your spirits. Please watch the video, forward it and share your thoughts. Or at least think about the music emanating from the limited production called your life.
Oct 15, 2010 | Women Who Rock
Two former newspaper colleagues were feted last tonight for their inclusion as metropolitan Richmond’s best, brightest and most beautiful-in-spirit residents. Stacy Hawkins Adams and Osita Iroegbu were among Style Weekly’s 40 under 40, an annual honor that celebrates young movers and shakers, some known, others out of the spotlight until now. The class of 2010 rocks. Not a weak link in this impressive, diverse bunch.
Stacy, an author, writing coach, speaker and advocate for children, is a petite powerhouse who just gets it done. Humble and a bit shy with a lovely smile, she exudes fierceness when it comes to creating blueprints to construct her dreams. In the four years since she left daily journalism, she has written sixe books, founded the Richmond chapter of the American Christian Fiction Writers and started a coaching program for aspiring authors. That’s only a taste of her jam-packed resume. She is an awesome mother to two children I wish I could clone and wife to a man who matches her in warmth and kindness. I am proud to call her a friend and a role model. She may be younger, but I learn something about resilience, grace and sincerity every time we talk. She is the real deal.
So is Osita, a woman with a Nigerian Father and African-American mother whose passion is community building and education. She walks the talk. Raised in Richmond public housing, she didn’t do like many others with the same background: move out, move up and move emotionally far away. This public relations and marketing manager for the Richmond Development and Housing Authority has started a mentoring program with Virginia State University for girls in the same public housing community she grew up in. The fact that all seven of her siblings have either graduated from college or are attending college is one more reason her life story should be a movie. Listening Hollywood? She also credits my husband, Mike, as her mentor.
Stacy and Osita represent just a fraction of the dynamic talent at the awards dinner, where I fought back tears as awe-inspiring recipients were introduced. Some people find the “40 under 40” list demoralizing when using it as barometer of their own accomplishments. I found being surrounded by such driven individuals uplifting and spiritually refreshing. Each recipient demonstrates compassion and an unquenchable need to make a difference. If you can call some of them friends then you are in stellar company.
One of the best perks of the evening was that I nominated Stacy and Mike nominated Osita. Neither one of us knew the other had done so until after we learned our nominees had been selected last month. We were tickled that our choices became part of the class of 2010. Also, we were touched by the insight and thoughtfulness of each other. Last night I celebrated the outstanding company I am blessed to keep — outside my home — and in it each day.
Sep 30, 2010 | Women Who Rock
Virginia Shelton, 105, reminds us that we are never too old to dream big. Yesterday, the spry and sociable Shelton met President Barack Obama when he stopped in Richmond to rally voters. And he hugged her not once but twice. Embracing the president was at the top of her bucket list she told me this summer during an interview for Richmond Magazine.
Meeting Obama, whom she proudly voted for, came three weeks after she received a letter from Michelle Obama for her birthday. The visit with Obama at the Southampton Recreation Center was a surprise for the centenarian, who credits her longevity to “the J.C. pill” [Jesus Christ].
Shelton’s spunk impressed me the moment I met her at the 150th anniversary of her hometown of Ashland. She made me chuckle that glorious Saturday when she said she had left her high heels at home since she planned to do a lot of walking during the festivities. Heels? She was 103 at the time. I knew then this lady had a zest for life.
Recently she ditched the heels at her family’s request. But her wit, enthusiasm and spiritual conviction remain. Small wonder she is beloved in her hometown and the recipient of many awards for her contributions over the decades to her community.
I am so happy Obama embraced her not once but twice. She is probably one of his oldest voters and her advice to him is a timeless truth:
“Stand up and be truthful in whatever you do.”
Shelton, like Henrietta Smith, my 91-year-old grandmother, inspires me to move forward when sadness, and not the president, embraces me. Imagine what these women have witnessed in their lifetimes. Life demands resilience and no doubt they have a lock on that. So it must be so much sweeter that during their twilight years they were able to help elect the nation’s first African-American president.
When I look at the photo of Obama hugging Shelton, I rejoice at the power of that defining moment for her. May we all have dreams still left to pursue as we age. And be blessed with people who care enough about us to help them materialize.
Sep 18, 2010 | Women Who Rock
I stood in a packed hall to hear author Rebecca Skloot talk about a black woman from Virginia whose cells helped to develop a polio vaccine, reveal the secrets of cancer and lead to advances about cloning and gene mapping, among other research discoveries.
Skloot is the author of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.
Henrietta’s cells, known as HeLa cells, were the first “immortal” human cells grown in culture. Today, more than 60 years after her death from cervical cancer, they remain alive. These HeLa cells, taken without Henrietta’s permission, have generated billions of dollars although Henrietta’s family did not receive a dime.
The book gave a voice and overdue dignity to Henrietta, who until May 29, was buried in an unmarked grave. Rebecca has also started a foundation, funded in part by book sales, to provide college scholarships and health insurance to Henrietta’s descendants.
Rebecca’s book is a testament to the power of judicious research, steely persistence and artful storytelling. I had to meet her. So did many others on a recent sweltering evening at the Library of Virginia. A lady with yellow Post-it notes collected our autograph requests for Rebecca. Mine had four simple but challenging words: For Robin, keep writing!
As I approached, a woman sitting next to Rebecca handed her my request.
“So you are a writer,” she said, as I stepped up.
I nodded, but I didn’t want to talk about me. “I know it floors you when people say you were an overnight success when it took you 10 years to write a story that you became curious about at age 16,” I said.
She looked up at me and nodded. We chatted briefly about her long journey to write the book.
“What kept you going after all those years?” I asked.
She said she had to tell the story, was unable to let it go and that she has a stubborn streak. Instantly I realized we had struck up a real conversation and not fan-talk chatter. But mindful of the women waiting behind me, I smiled and moved on, upset that I had left my camera home. I remembered I had a camera on my Blackberry. Hence, the bad photo above of this amazing wordsmith and woman.
Rebecca did not grow up wanting to be a writer. As a child, she wanted to become a veterinarian. After failing her freshman year, she attended an alternative school, which allowed her to take community college courses. It was there that she learned about Henrietta.
It’s the stuff of movies and the story will soon be on HBO. Oprah will produce it. I hope Skloot writes the script, too.
Earlier that evening, when I scanned the jammed-to-capacity crowd listening to Rebecca, I was struck by the diversity of her book-clutching admirers. This story weaving African-American history, medical research, bioethics, greed and a family’s struggles connected with readers on so many levels.
Rebecca gave the largely unknown Henrietta the legacy she deserved, helped her children to learn about a mother whose death at 31 left her a stranger, and extended educational opportunities to her descendants — all while making science engaging. Small wonder readers of all ages, shades and interests felt the need to greet this author whose masterful storytelling connects disparate cultures.
Because of Rebecca’s stubborn refusal to let it go, Henrietta’s story lives on along with her immortal cells.
Sep 12, 2010 | Women Who Rock
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Renowned for her beauty, Halle Berry’s recent actions after meeting her body double, Elise Fernandez, speaks volumes about her inner beauty.
Fernandez, battling breast cancer since 2008, met her look-alike on the set of “Dark Tide,” an upcoming thriller shooting in South Africa. While getting their wigs removed after a scene, Halle introduced herself and marveled over Elise’s double set of dimples. Halle also learned that her stand-in came to work four days after surgery because she needed the money to pay for her mastectomy. Moved, Berry donated to Journey of Hope, a local cancer support organization.
“I got the voice-mail message on my phone as I woke up after coming out of the hospital theatre,” Elise said in an interview with the the Johannesburg-based Times. “It meant that I would have only four days to recover, but I was desperate for the money,” she said.
Rewind. For. Just. A. Minute. I can only imagine the drive Elise possessed to get out of bed, toss the covers of self pity, and go to work to take care of her two sons and pay mounting medical bills four days after surgery to remove a lump from her right breast.
Sounds like someone needs to do a biopic about Elise, 37, who wears a prosthetic breast in her bra on the right side and has a silicone implant on her left.
But you know what? Sometime the world balances out and gets it right. Elise’s encounter with Halle came at a time she could probably use reaffirmation, not as an aspiring documentary filmmaker but as a woman. I can only imagine the transformational power Elise felt as she stood in for one of the world’s celebrated lookers.Their connection inspired me and I’m sure many others. Elise is a warrior who, like many women around the globe, battles adversity with resilience and grace and then cooks dinner. Hollywood needs help capturing their stories.
I just hope Berry remembers Elise for future film projects.
What also moves me about Elise’s situation is the circle of support anchoring her during turbulent times. She has credited her sons, 12 and 16, and her boyfriend, who has told her he loves her scars and she is beautiful. Are we listening men? Kind words, thoughtful actions and real prayers deliver the combination breast cancer survivors embrace. I have a friend battling the insidious disease and I know what authentic gestures mean to her.
Elise and Halle embody the power of female bonding and remind the rest of us to help our sisters struggling with a disease that preys on a woman’s sense of femininity. Elise and Halle redefine gorgeousness and where it’s located: in the heart.
